Technique and techniques of active listening. Psychology
Man is a social being. In the course of our life, we constantly interact with a large number of people. The quality of career growth, family well-being and material wealth of an individual will depend on how high-quality it is. It seems that there is nothing easier to communicate with other people, to receive the necessary information in the process and to apply it in certain situations. However, as practice shows, many people from birth are given communication at any level. In the future, this leads to serious problems and significantly reduces the quality of life.
Therefore, in psychology, methods of active listening have been developed, allowing to establish relationships not only between two individuals, but also within an entire social group. Recently, these methods and techniques are very popular, in the age of high technology, not everyone has the gift of understanding the interlocutor, and therefore seeks help from specialists.In today's article we will talk about the methods, techniques and techniques of active listening that many people successfully use in their lives, noting their unprecedented results.
We understand the terminology
The concept of active listening is quite simple and complex at the same time. It implies a special communicative skill, suggesting the semantic perception of the interlocutor's speech.
This technique shows that all the participants are interested in the conversation, it gives the opportunity to correctly evaluate the words and presentation of the speaker, direct the conversation in the right direction and leave only the most pleasant impressions about you.
In addition, the process of active listening is always aimed at creating a trusting atmosphere and the desire to better understand, as well as to accept the position of your interlocutor. This technique is actively used during the provision of psychological assistance. After all, a specialist to help his client must fully enter his position and experience the same range of emotions.
Many psychologists say that through the methods of active listening, you can quickly establish relations between parents and children, as well as resolve family conflicts that have long plagued a couple.Some virtuosos use this technique at work, and they say that it is extremely effective.
A bit of history
The Soviet public learned about active listening from Julia Gippenreiter, a successful practicing psychologist specializing in family issues. She was the one who drew attention to the fact that understanding, perception and attention are important for solving many intra-family conflicts.
Based on her practice, she developed active listening techniques that are still in use. With their help, you can relieve tensions in a few minutes and create a special atmosphere of trust that is conducive to conversation. During the conversation, it is enough to use several techniques and techniques to understand all the emotional experiences of your interlocutor and get closer to him.
But emotional closeness is the foundation on which you can build a strong family and become for your child not just an authoritative parent, but first and foremost a friend. Therefore, it can be argued that the techniques and techniques of active listening will be useful to everyone without exception.
What is the purpose of listening to the interlocutor? This question cannot always be answered unambiguously. But psychologists say that the goal should always be information. The listener is trying to extract maximum information from the conversation in order to properly evaluate it and come to one or other conclusions. However, the result of a conversation does not always depend on the speaker’s eloquence; the ability to listen is a rare gift that can bring invaluable benefit to its owner.
Psychologists can always distinguish the active listener from any other. They claim that the person concerned is always listening as if with the whole body. He is turned to face the other person, maintains visual contact with him, often the body is tilted toward the speaker. All this is determined by the conditions of active listening, because on the non-verbal level, our brain perceives all these actions as a willingness to speak. The person is relaxing and ready to convey to us exactly what he cares about. This is where active listening techniques come in handy, there are three of them:
Reception "echo" in the technique of active listening is used very often.It consists in repeating the last words of the interlocutor, but with interrogative intonation. It implies a clarification. It is as if you are trying to realize whether you understood your opponent correctly. He, in turn, feels his importance and your interest in the presented information.
Paraphrasing is also necessary for clarification. You retell the essence of what was said in your own words, asking whether the interlocutor had in mind. This technique prevents misunderstanding in the conversation. Each of the conversations will know for sure that the information is transmitted and understood correctly.
Interpretation also serves to increase the level of trust and understanding between the two interlocutors. After the voiced information, the listener can retell it in his own words and make an assumption about the sense that the speaker has put into it. Thus, possible conflicts are leveled, and the significance of the conversation increases several times.
Important elements of active listening
I would like to note that with all its seeming simplicity, active listening is a rather complicated system that requires careful study.It is a multi-level structure consisting of several elements.
The most important of them is considered the unconditional acceptance of the interlocutor. Only in this way it is recommended to build relationships with loved ones. By nature, man is more inclined to speak, not to listen. Against this background, anyone who knows how to listen and hear, looks more advantageous and has every chance of success. Unconditional acceptance can be represented as a deep interest in another person who feels his importance and becomes more open. Acceptance is often expressed in numerous questions posed to the interlocutor. They allow you to learn a lot of new information and show how important the speaker is to you.
Another element of active listening is non-verbal beacons. Periodic nods of his head, shaking it, moving closer to the interlocutor - all this makes him feel your interest in the conversation. Sometimes you can insert interjections to make it clear that you are still attentively listening to the person and understand everything he wants to tell you.
It is also impossible to imagine active listening without penetrating into the emotional state of your partner. Empathy, expressed in simple words, increases the level of understanding between the interlocutors.However, do not abuse phrases. It is enough just to support a person, showing that you fully share his emotions in a given situation.
Feedback verbal communication is equally important in communication. Thanks to the leading questions, you will receive confirmation that you understand the partner correctly. There is no doubt in your sincerity between you. In addition, the interviewee believes that he is treated without prejudice. Feel free to contact your partner for clarification. However, never continue his thoughts, even when it seems to you that you know exactly what is being said. The development of thought should go smoothly and it is necessary for the person who started it to finish. In this case, you show your respect, interest and acceptance of the interlocutor.
Principles of active perception
Some psychologists have an equal sign between active listening and empathy. Despite the differences in these concepts, there is quite a lot in common between them. After all, without the ability to empathize, read and feel other people's emotions, it is impossible to find mutual understanding and learn not only to listen, but also to hear a person. This gives him a sense of value and increases self-esteem.Therefore, do not forget about the basic principles of active perception:
- Neutral position. No matter how you want, refuse any assessment of the information given by the interlocutor. Only by being calm and a little distant from the problem can you continue the conversation and avoid a possible conflict situation. The speaker will feel that you respect his views and appreciate the expressed opinion.
- Goodwill Such a submission creates a trusting relationship between the interlocutors. During the conversation, do not stop looking into the eyes of a person, ask him leading questions in a quiet voice that supports the created atmosphere, and do not interrupt even the longest speech.
- Sincerity. Do not try to use active listening methods unless you really want to understand a person. He, like the conversation itself, should be of interest to you. Bad mood, irritability and resentment can be good reasons for postponing even the most important conversation. Otherwise, none of the techniques of active listening will help you. Do not try to replace sincerity with banal politeness.The interviewee will quickly feel your coldness, and you will not get the desired result.
Remember that you can understand the speaker only when you feel his emotional background, but concentrate on the spoken words. If you allow yourself to completely immerse yourself in other people's emotions, then, most likely, miss the essence of the conversation.
Active listening techniques briefly
Most psychologists advise everyone who seeks to acquire new contacts and wants to be successful in all social groups to master the techniques of active perception of information. In addition, it will help to better understand your other half and children.
Active listening techniques include:
- development of thought;
- message of perception;
- message about self perception;
- comments on the conversation.
Virtuoso possession of all seven techniques greatly facilitates the life of a person, because he will be able to establish contact with any interlocutor. Such skills are greatly appreciated in the modern world. Therefore, in the subsequent sections of the article we will go through each item of the above list in detail.
People often underestimate the possibilities of this technique.But he gives the speaker the opportunity to gather his thoughts, ponder the information and continue the conversation with new details. After all, sometimes after taking an active hearing, the "pause" the interlocutor reveals even more fully.
Listening to a forced silence is also helpful. It allows you to slightly move away from the emotions of your verbal partner and fully concentrate on his words.
The usual conversation involves a lot of omissions, reservations and understatement. They are thought of by the one and the other side in an arbitrary order, but with the active perception of such a thing should not be allowed. After all, the main goal is to extract the truthful and most complete information on the topic of conversation, as well as to establish contact with a partner.
Therefore, the refinement performs two functions at once:
- explains what has been said through direct dialogue;
- allows you to gently bypass the most pressing and sensitive issues
This preserves mutual understanding and trust between the interlocutors.
Sometimes the speaker is so immersed in his emotions that he gradually loses the thread of conversation.Reception "development of thought" is in the unobtrusive direction of conversation in the right direction. The listener repeats the idea expressed earlier, and his interlocutor returns to it and develops it.
This technique can be called a kind of feedback. After a large block of expressed thoughts and voiced emotions, the listener briefly retells everything he heard. The speaker emphasizes the most important thing, which in some cases becomes an intermediate result of the conversation.
Often, retelling becomes an indicator of understanding between the interlocutors and the listener's interest in the conversation in progress.
This technique is good when communicating between spouses or parents and children. At the end of the conversation or in its process, the listener reports on the impression that the verbal partner and the conversation made on him.
Self Perception Report
At the time of communication, the listener can tell about his emotional reaction to certain words of the interlocutor. It can be positive or negative. However, in any case, the reaction must be communicated in a calm and friendly tone.
Notes on the conversation
At the conclusion of the conversation, the listener sums up some results that give a certain color and meaning to the conversation. The speaker can confirm or deny these findings.
Examples of active listening
Where can I apply this knowledge in practice? Believe me, you will definitely use them, for example, in communication with children. A conversation will always be effective if you can adhere to some of the rules of active listening:
- look in the eyes;
- speak positively and calmly;
- concentrate fully on the conversation and put off other matters;
- each phrase should reflect empathy and understanding.
In any personal interaction, the techniques and techniques described by us earlier can be expressed in correctly aligned phrases. For example, the following options:
- "I understand you well."
- "I am listening really carefully".
- "It is interesting".
- "What do you have in mind?".
- “How did this happen?” And the like.
It is impossible to imagine the scope of sales without the use of active listening techniques. They are especially relevant in the process of communication between the client and the manager.
Psychologists believe that the ability to hear the interlocutor and ask him the right questions can work wonders.Try active listening in practice and maybe your life will be a little different.